"Words cannot express how much i miss you Daddy or how much i love you"  -Courtney Stewart-

It's so difficult, but believe me , it's not complaining :( , may be just a sigh , Yupss...just a little.

a Letter with Love

"Fan, jangan lupa kunci pintu ,matiin lampu, bapak ga pulang malam ini"  
Yupss.. as usual, like the other night if you spent your night in the office.
But it was different, Huffth..ya DIFFERENT,because not only  for d'night, not the next day, even today ... you never came back :( :( :(
The last time.... i heard your voice, yaaa that night we talked by phone, just by phone :(
Daddy,could u hear me rigth now????
how are you tonight..? are u fine??
Oh God, I know that he always fine every time ,altough i can't see him in his beautiful eyes in me :(
It's more than 3 years since a saddest day for me, but as time goes...i understand...every tears fell down can be beautiful,
never forget u ): , i'm promise dad [!!!]
I miss u every time-
Yups,  like tonight,but  should i begging u to miss me? No, i shouldn’t, and u don’t have to do it for me, cos whenever that feeling comes over me, i always run and pray to Allah for hugging me so tight.. .(n_n).

I remember, at  many time years ago, i'm often asked 'this' and 'that'. You grant it, u accepted my wish,  But now? :( :(  
I just wanna tell you daddy..,that i’m always trying to be a better person, struggling by my own, but i'm so sorry sometimes it's make me tired, just sometimes dad,a lit',. trust me..please :( , because i running alone without u , but i believe u always -here-, in my deepest heart. 

So can you see me, daddy ? i don't care what the people say, b'cause the most important that i'm still beautiful for u, it's right daddy? I hope :)
I'm growing , your cute daughter has growing [!]- This maturity would never be mine if it weren’t for u who’ve made my life so colorful. You taught me affection, patience, sincerity, generosity, gratitude, all of with your heart, with LOVE, although in a fact i often impatient, spoiled, and childish indeed, and make u confused, I'm sorry, i can't yet be a woman, dad...! Please forgive me for that ):


Humm ou ya dad,i wanna tell u about something, it's so secret (*just between you and me, okayh :) )
♥ My mom (*your wife, hoho) she is not alone, "Ibu punyai kami -anak-anaknya-" 
So hard to be a single parent,but from your place u can see.. "she is GREAT, b'cos she got you in her heart,always and forever..like your children too :) .hhe..


♥ Mysista, yaa...now she is 20 years old, but  she still so cute, so tiny, small, and hmm...cheerful :) hahah, now she always with mom  , ya as u know she is not spoiled and better than me, but i'm sure she felt the same-like me,exactly. Missing you so much dad, and need you,so :(


♥ Your first son, he seldom cry, even that day, yap the saddest day, hmm..i think he is a little introvert (*sst..don't tell him about this , okay dad *lol ).  He also dilligent  and more intelligent than me (*yaps lol haha, I'm not smart). 
Sometimes he likes a 'stone' haha, but he'll be mature 'more and more', until the right time he'll be replace you at home, Ummm...don't worry my lovely dad, not to replace u,  but to continue your role to protect us, protect me, my mom and haiza. He'll be like that with Rafif too.
I always pray he can be like you,exactly [!]. Till,,,,, someday i will say, "he's the best man in this world" Oh no no,NOT no.1, because it's you, he's the best man after you dad, Yup number two..But wait, i think number three (??) *lol , after my husband, certainly hahha. i'm so sorry mybrada :p

♥ The Youngest (:  I’m not  longer free  to hug him T_T,  because he said that he was not a "child" anymore huhu... but i still indulge him, 'make' him cry and then persuaded him .. haha 
Ya dad,  i still treats him the same , as the youngest that always waiting his father came home every night ,then whined  and said "Dad..look.., look my homework ,,please daddy..please help me"
Damn, I miss it :( :( really :(

Hummm .... i want to tell you one thing, this is THE BEST and not a secret,  you can say it  to anyone
“   WE LOVE YOU   “
Ii’m glad....because i knew you more than 17 years of my life..., You are the best man i've ever knew since my childhood 'til my teen.
It's makes me grown so much, so strong. You make me stronger reversed my ‘weakness’ indirectly. It's really thank you :)


Thank you dad...
For loving me long time ,  thanks so much :(
Fanni SAYANG bapak :)

and now, i wanna ask to my self, "apa yang sudah saya lakukan?", for my mom,  my beloved daddy , my sweetest sista, my best brothers , and for them "the person that i love" , or may be... for maself?
Huffth.."nothing" , may be until this time :(  #sigh ..